Drama

Oldest daughter got a traffic ticket in the mail today, citing her truck (or a vehicle with her tags removed and put on them), for parking in a no parking zone.  She called the court to say her truck had been reported stolen on the 3rd of July, and the ticket was for the eighth.  Madness ensuing with her calling the detective on her case (they're nowhere near as dramatic as on t.v.....still waiting for a call-back), and calling to report the tag stolen, which doesn't automatically happen when the vehicle is stolen.  Who knew? The police are supposedly going to swing by the address showing on the ticket to see.

All this occurring and second son drives by there, and of course the truck isn't there, but a few houses down is a place with a jacked up pick-up, similar to hers, but son's not convinced it's hers.  If so, it's been stripped and re-worked.  Unrecognizable, except for the make and year.

And her re-imbursement check came today from the insurance company.  Hope this gives her closure.  That possibly her truck is toast.  Endings can be very good things.

Note to all.  If you have a vehicle stolen, report the tags as taken as well.  Then, if it's found, they'll have the tags in the database and the computer should pick up on that if the police log the tags in.  Just a (hopefully unnecessary) heads up.

HUH.  Update here. Apparently the women at the court who told our daughter you had to report tags separately as stolen from the vehicle was mistaken.  The detective she's been working with said that they do go hand in hand.  Learning all the time.

More pretties

New favorite painter.  Henri Le Sidaner.  Googled his work after finding one by him as I searched for post-Impressionists.  So adore his work.  Light, airy and very much my taste.

Beautiful things

Found this painting in my Pinterest account, and it's attributed to Edmund Blair Leighton, but if you see his other work, like me you'll probably think....nope, not by him.  Looks more like Impressionist pointillism in a way, and from her clothes and the postman's outfit, I'm thinking it's later than Leighton's work. Wish I knew who painted it, because it's lovely.

Update:  Everywhere I look online, including an art site, says this is his work.  Just looks different than his medieval/fairytale like paintings.  Scratching my head.

Off I go.....

Like lots of folks I have a Facebook account, one at Twitter and also at Tumblr.  I just spent some time on FB clearing out some pages I follow because they get contentious and ugly. Throw up an opinion, even on Anglican boards, and folks come out of the woodwork wanting the world to hear their points of view.  My head can't take it anymore, so check them off I go. I still follow, but don't have to read every discussion and every opinion.  So many folks vary on their faiths, and it's a day's work to keep up.  As it is, I know what I believe, am no theologian so sound lame when I defend my own beliefs, so it's best I stay out of it.

And even on our neighborhood association's page, I'm constantly amazed at how nosy folks are.  Controlling and in your face.  I don't have time.  Last week, I read that we were criticized for our landscaping---that it was to blame for our daughter's truck getting stolen.  That's a stretch.  A lesbian couple (not an issue, but it is an issue), who are very militant in their lifestyle tend to let it spill over in how they treat folks.  Said on the board (within my reading, not privately), that everyone knew about the house on 'our' street with the lovely flowers and nice landscaping....how we can't see criminals on our property and how we're overgrown, which is fine (said quietly), but we're tempting fate by not cutting down our bushes, etc.  She actually said the thieves could have changed their oil in our driveway in the time it would've taken us to catch them.  What?  Who's watching out their windows between 2am and 5am? They want us to look like everyone else who has rounded bushes, no privacy and are paranoid about their sterile yards?  Again, I have no time.  I called her on it, saying (nicely) that it was rude to single out our house, which she apologized to.  I offered then to cut her some flowers. Nuts.  She was fine after that, but really, you need to exercise some self-control.  It's our neighborhood, but it's not her house we were talking about.  Which, by the way, is painted an ugly orange color.  We should hold a meeting and ban her hideous color choice.  Not my business.

Get a life.  Plus the time it takes to argue with strangers.  What's up with that?  We talk to folks we don't know online in a way we'd never speak to someone to their face.  And we do it very willingly.  I've been guilty.  But I'm done.  Life is too short.  Heck, life is too short for the nonsense in my own life to borrow someone else's.

And, as you see from the porch, we have LOTS of privacy.  The thing is, in this day and time, people stay indoors most of the time, but come out to argue and holler and leave loud rap music playing in their vehicles while they go inside, at least that's our experience with our neighbors.  We've planted specifically to block our view from what they're doing.  Might still hear them, but we don't have to see them.  Our oasis, and that's as it should be.

Why am I all worked about folks I don't even know?  Ahem.  Thinking I need to look elsewhere, eh?

Saturday evening

“There always comes, I think, a sort of peak in suffering at which either you win over your pain or your pain wins over you, according as to whether you can, or cannot, call up that extra ounce of endurance that helps you to break through the circle of yourself and do the hitherto impossible. That extra ounce carries you through 'le dernier quart d' heure.' Psychologists have a name for it, I believe. Christians call it the Grace of God.”~from Elizabeth Goudge's The Castle on the Hill 

 Hot as the dickens today, so put the a/c back in the bedroom window.  Much heavier putting it in than taking it out!  Something about bending over, versus just reaching over.  Well, it's done.  Blasting away now.  If we can stomach tomorrow, then Monday should be pleasant again.

Went to hippie store and got 2 ounces of Chasteberry, which is supposed to be excellent for peri-menopause.  Going to make a tincture on Monday. Also got some Black Currant loose tea, which I'm drinking now.  Also, planning on coloring my hair tonight when the bathroom is empty.  Vidal Sassoon has a new color (not sure I've ever used this brand), and it was on sale and it's called Deep Velvet Violet.  Trying to live a little.  My grey is freshly covered in dark brown, so this might just be a sweet freshener.  Change can be good.

With my Staycation mindset, I'm succeeding in slowing down my thoughts and actions.  Even my tendency on the blog here has switched from madness to a bit of contentment.  And what I can't change (a lengthy list, let me tell you), will have to be dealt with by the Lord.  I think that's the way it should be after all.

Take care.  Find time to rest, and let it go.  Seems to be good advice.

Friday night's thoughts

~our dear little chickens are just outside

Took the little air conditioner out of the bedroom window this afternoon, not too awfully heavy, and the relief of having the fan blowing fresh air is worth it.  Glorious.  I have this thing about continuous canned air.  Eventually makes me squirmy.  And I don't care if it gets warm outside, I'd prefer fans to air conditioning, unless it's blazing outside.  Give me curtains blowing.

So.  Here I am.  Piles of books on the bed, a cool breeze, and just taking some time.

Tomorrow's supposed to be hot again, but by Monday night or so, we'll have a bit of a chilly weather to fly past once more.  This has been a pretty decent summer.  Plenty of rain, not too many wretchedly hot days, and a break every-so-often of what they're calling that silly 'polar vortex.'  Whatever.  I just call it nice.

My mom's been saying lately she wanted me to buy something for myself.  I'm thinking I'll take her up on it tomorrow...maybe some lunch out, some makings for more tinctures.  Time to brew.  Might go to the hippie store for some different dried herbs.  I need the time to lose myself in mixing up some concoctions.  It's therapeutic.  A restful weekend of this, I'm thinking.  And for the altar will cut our own flowers.  Easy all around.

Talked to first born tonight about son-who's-engaged.  He calls him Knucklehead.  Yeah.  Pretty spot on.  That son won't listen to anyone, but I came to the brilliant realization (slow on the up-take) that we can't change him.  We can pray, and that's about all. And be here when he falls, and he will fall.  Gary's talked to his folks about it and they agree.  They had their own son who fell by the wayside once upon a time.  I married him after he came up for air.  I believe he's the better for the hard way he traveled before the Lord led him to me.  Praying that that may be so for our son.

Tonight is good.  Almost all my chickens under my roof, that is, all the ones who live here.  Just waiting on oldest daughter to come home from her dinner out with sweet Indian boyfriend.  Safe and sound, least will be soon.

Thursday afternoon

It's nice when the chores get done early enough in the day, and there's not another reason to have to leave the house.  And fortunately the weather turned late yesterday, bringing some rain (not a dry summer this year) and cooler temperatures, which makes makes me feel friendly toward all my fellow humans.

Earlier today the two younger girls and I went to my mom's and I helped her shower and put in her rollers.  Trimmed toenails, and tidied up the house a bit again.  Took her some new reading glasses, and picked up a new checkbook.  Diddly things, but necessary to her well-being, and the running of her household.

Considering hiring an Aide to keep her bathing regular, but not sure.  She enjoyed taking her time in the shower, and not being hurried, and she could do it herself.  I just had to hold the towels for her.  Not such a big deal, but it's just finding the time that's hard.

Now I can breathe.  And hopefully tomorrow can be more of the same.

Oldest daughter is fixing dinner tonight, and there's nothing hanging fire to make me squirm.

This is good.  Now, I'll rest for the remainder of the day.  Not going to borrow frets, especially since most things are out of my hands.  Looking forward to a cup of tea later.  Got a new 1/2 # box of loose Lipton at the store.  Tipped it into my tea tin and added Cardamom, Coriander, Ginger, a few whole Allspice and shook it all up.  A nice treat for later on.  :)  Take care, all.

Good communication

Had a sweet conversation with our son today.  I was able to say what needed saying, without hard feelings, and he appeared to listen.  He filled me in on things, and he's determined to get married.  Not sure about the hurry, but he's pretty well convinced that they're doing the right thing.  Something about her mom being heavy-handed and wanting to run the show if they had an actual wedding.

I expressed concern with them having a civil ceremony, side-stepping a ceremony with the Lord's words spoken over them.  He says they want low-key.  I asked him again about his girlfriend's faith, asking directly if she's a believer. We've covered this territory before, but I wanted to look at him directly in the eyes to see what he'd say.  He paused. Said something about her being a good Catholic, which is a bit of a stretch since she's been away from the Church for a long time, has only begun attending recently.  He's asked me to go to church with them tomorrow night, my first visit to a Catholic Mass, and her mom might be there as well. She's looking for another Catholic church to attend.  This ought to be interesting, to put it mildly.  I've never met her mom before.  Anyway, back to my question.  He said that no, she's not a believer.

Reminded him that church affiliation didn't equal salvation, and he gets it.  He knows all of this, but is shoving it aside. He's putting his emotions and love for this girl ahead of what he knows to be true.  He gets the unequally yoked teaching, but is adamant in wanting his way.

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure."  That quote's been in my mind's eye for awhile now.

Maybe the Lord has a special purpose for this union that we just can't see.  I pray that it's so. They've made it hard, though, with being so secretive.  I regret that if this follows through, my first child to marry will be under circumstances that are less than ideal.  So many negatives piled up against them, without a common faith to hold them together.  How folks manage to live day to day without a sense of God's Hand on them is a continued mystery to me.  God help us all.

A moment's pause

~madelyn, nora, milk and anastasia was in henhouse laying

Got up early, just after oldest daughter had let the dogs in/out, and fed the chickens.  I couldn't get back to sleep after hearing her (quietly) move about.  At around 6:30am I got my tea ready.  Set up my tray and went out back with the chickens.  I wasn't in their run, but sitting outside of it on the patio.  Cloudy, quiet, birds, squirrels, silence, not much traffic yet to hear passing by, bliss.  A pause before the day began.

After my tea, I sat inside the pen on a bucket I have in there, and after a few minutes Milk hopped in my lap, got some lovin' and then Nora hopped up.  I love that.  A cool, cloudy day and a chicken in my lap.

Perspective.

I read the Daily Office on my phone, and that gave me a peace to pad the day.

~my love

Gary and I agreed that we've felt dazed and confused today.  Not sure what our son will do. Praying, letting go, and praying some more.

The thing that's hard is doing our best, or what's been a faulty best in raising our kids, and feeling that they sometimes lose their way.  This son has been attracted by shiny things just like a magpie.  The world is dazzling to him, he's not one to look far ahead and can only see that this choice will be magical.  He can't see the challenge, and will likely plow ahead unless something stops him in his tracks. Bless him.  I think part of him sees a situation where he can show up our oldest daughter who's been dating sweet Indian boyfriend over two years----he's trying to best her and first born, who's newly dating someone.  He wants to be the first, I think.  Not sure why this is a competition, but that's how it appears to me in a small way.

First born and oldest daughter have washed their hands of him, hurt by his disregard for their thoughts or care.  He doesn't seem to see that their concern is driven by love for him.  To hate to see him walk into a hard situation at the get-go.

One day at a time.

Monday

A day of cleaning, with the two youngest girls taking over.  The work they get done in a short amount of time is amazing.  With that done, sort of a Monday routine, we can relax a bit tomorrow.  It's second son's 25th birthday, so we'll make curry and naan for dinner, plus middle daughter will bake his cake. Unfortunately he's working (and lives away in an apartment with first-born, so we can't hit up on him first thing).  He'll probably pop in mid-day before he goes on into work, but he'll be here to eat after his stint at the restaurant.  That'll be late, though, about eleven pm or so.  We'll eat at the regular time and save his...with him blowing out candles late.  Can't be helped.

Just finished watching some old home movies. Everybody is in them, with the least one being less than a month old in one (2002) and walking in the next one (2003). Everyone was so cute, eating all the time, but being silly.  Guess they had a happy childhood, hmmm?  Oldest daughter cuts a look at me when I say things like that.  Just checking. ;)  Making gingerbread cookies, the vacuum cleaner still sitting in the hallway as it is this very minute, folded clothes piled up on the back of the sofa, middle daughter who was about 3 wearing her turtleneck shirt inside out with the tag hanging out, g.i. joes, but lots of laughs.  It passes way too quickly.

I had tea on the front porch after dinner....still raining. Supposed to be cooler tonight and the next few days. Bliss.

'My Life in Middlemarch' by Rebecca Mead

For the past few weeks I've been reading Middlemarch for the first time alongside Rebecca Mead's My Life in Middlemarch, and I must say it's been a treat.  She causes Eliot come alive in her telling of Eliot's life and career, all the while spinning in her own love for Eliot's writing.  Rarely am I able to find a book that depicts an author so clearly.  It was like the very best university course all neatly packaged in a beautifully bound hardback.

I was partial to this comment of Mead's:  "This notion---that we each have our own center of gravity, but must come to discover that others weigh the world differently than we do---is one that is constantly repeated in the book.  The necessity of growing out of such self-centeredness is the theme of Middlemarch."

Mead is so incredibly thorough in her research and portrayal of George Eliot.  She must've spent hours and hours of enjoyable time in adding to her vast collection of information.  But the clincher for me was a bit at the first of the book when she's going to be able to read a journal of Eliot's stored in the rare book collection of the New York Public Library.  What thrilled me was Mead describing the book opened in front of her, and the subtle scent of a fireplace stealing over her.  She imagined all the places that journal had been stored, and thinking of Eliot holding it, writing in it and maybe the smoldering of a fireplace where Eliot actually lived.

Real folks writing real books.  She made George Eliot come alive for me.  Now.  Considering Middlemarch is Rebecca Mead's favorite of novels, I'd love to find a similar work for my own favorite, Jane Eyre.  Satisfying that would surely be.

I highly recommend this book, especially for lovers of 19th century fiction, which for me is the perfect era.  Excellent work.  Excellent.

(i received this book free to review from blogging for books/crown publishing)

Saturday afternoon

~' a peaceful sunday' by hans thoma

Funeral yesterday (me sitting there quietly crying before the service even began....so draining being me), then library with three youngest, getting caught out in, what appeared to be, a monsoon on our way home.  Waking up early this morning to Gary getting ready to take Nat'l Guard son to drill for the day (which is almost 2 hours away). They were up at 5am.  Major ugh.  He thought it might be a fun day-date for us, but the heat really gets to me, so youngest son went with him.  They're fishing, which works great for me.  Male bonding.

I stayed home and went out this afternoon with oldest daughter for dinner things...hamburgers and potato salad (potatoes are just finished boiling), since I figure they'll all be hungry when they get home.  Got the flowers for the Altar....white/ivory/light pink roses for a couple who are celebrating an anniversary.  I'll be setting up the Altar elements as well, which will be my first time alone.  Will have our priest double-check me before the service so he doesn't end up with an 'ah-ha' moment during Communion.  Eye roll.

Now must try to get an accurate balance in the checkbook.  Speaking of  'ah-ha' moments. Continued eye roll.  But is the balance ever in favor of you having more money in there than you thought?  Uh, no.  But I'm optimistic nonetheless.

Must chill.  I say that a lot.  My life lately has been way overfull of drama and its ugly stepsister called anxiety.  Gary had a sweet, long conversation with one dating son yesterday about his (son's) love life, wanting to know what was up, etc.  This son expressed strong interest in marrying his girlfriend, and Gary was cautioning him with linking his life to a non-believer.  Oh my.  You can tell them and tell them, but they have to do it themselves.  Maybe his faith isn't as important as we'd like to think.  But after the new wears off in a relationship, if there's not a cornerstone of Christ, what's holding it together?  Not much.   I realize many marriages of non-Christians work, but why, if you've been raised in that environment, put yourself in a trying situation?  Preaching to the choir here,  I realize.

Not much I can do about any of it tonight.  Must read a book.  Got a few used (but new-ish looking) books at the used bookstore at the library yesterday.  Two by Muriel Barbery---The Elegance of the Hedgehog (which is an excellent movie I've seen on Netflix), and Gourmet Rhapsody, The Hidden Life by Kitty Crenshaw and Catherine Snapp, PhD (about depression), Lamb in Love by Carrie Brown which I've read a few times, and at the library checked out the trilogy of Elizabeth Goudge's about the Eliots of Damerosehay.  Love them.  And got The Rosemary Tree (one of my favorites of hers) too.  Love little Winkle in that book.

Still plowing through (and that's the only term for it) Middlemarch.  Is it good?  Well, excellent writing, but very long sentences and paragraphs.  My mental state isn't quite up to the challenge, but one of my goals for this summer is to finish it.  Now on around page 300 or so and it's over 800 pages, so I will prevail.

Will have rest for the remainder of the day.  Can't solve any problems that might be lurking in my wee brain.  Oldest daughter is making a chocolate pie or two with a recipe from my grandmother, who was a fine, plain cook.  Something to look forward to.

Take care all.

Sunday night

My dear older friend from church passed away last night right after I posted about him entering hospice.  Everyone was sober at church today---tears just below the surface.  His funeral this week will be very, very special.  He was a leader in the Republican Party here years ago, and I'm sure his service will be attended by some fancy folks.  Nor surprising.  I told Gary tonight I don't know when I've ever met a sweeter man than this one.  We began the habit of me going up to him in his and his wife's pew before church and I'd lean down to him.  We'd hug and he'd always give me a kiss on the cheek.  A gentleman from the old school. Dear, sweet Jack, you are already missed.  Wish I'd known several weeks ago when I was receiving that last kiss that it was the last one.

I was thinking about him reaching Heaven.  No more having to walk stooped over with a cane.  His eyes are strong, his heart beating regularly, but the same sweet smile.  Heaven rejoices, for sure. His wife will be lost for a time.  Maybe for always.  They spent all their time together.  Oh my.

Nat'l Guard son's girlfriend came to church with him today.  Folks were very welcoming to her. She's Catholic and says she doesn't want to change, which is fine with me, but gosh....I think I'm overdone with too much to think about.  I've got to distance myself from our kids' lives, I guess.

And have got to make a concerted effort to rest this week.  The last week will not be up for renewal.  Stomach's a mess.  I read an article the other day about physical ailments caused by uncontrolled stress.  Then it ended up with saying a person needed to lessen their stress in order to heal.  Huh.  Really now?  Must look into a follow-up article that'll spell out how to manage that trick.  Have had excellent luck with yoga.  Might lock myself in the bedroom tomorrow and give it another whirl.  Might just lock myself in the bedroom no matter.

I have groceries in the house for tomorrow's dinner.  All the basics.  Must needs to putter, maybe do some handwork, get outside since that's a great leveler of emotions.  Supposedly walking outside barefooted is good for a person's soul.  Grounding.  Maybe sounds lame to say that, but will give it a try.

Take care.

Taking time

Resting in bed and drinking tea with Cardamom and whole Allspice in it...yummy. About to get out glue/scissors and magazines and indulge in some artsy stuff.  Therapeutic. Tired of bad news, and would enjoy a retreat from life for a bit.  I think I joined the old show, Let's Make a Deal, but looked behind the wrong door.

A dear older friend at church has entered hospice care, and it's sort of the last straw. Still reeling from daughter's truck being stolen. And thinking about childrens' love lives, but not fretting about that issue.  Just on my mind. Other stuff I won't get into.  Glad I've got some Scripture memorized, since the verses you need will indeed pop up into your head when you most need them.

Funny thing.  Or not so funny.  A couple of months ago, I prayed to the Lord about wanting to be a person whose eyes betrayed a softness.  Now, I tend to have a spicy side not too far below the surface.  I can get real mad, real quick.  But I'd been thinking about folks I know.  Christians.  And how sometimes you run across a person with such a kindness in their eyes.  A kindness that's only achieved by pain.  Do you know what I mean?  Well, I prayed to be one of those people.  Ever since then...now, it might be a coincidence, but ever since then, life has kicked up a notch.  HARD. And after I got over my mad, and my frustration, and trying to manage a particular situation, I've come to a place where I'm exhausted, but surrendered.  Not so sure anyone would see a gentleness in my own eyes, but maybe a fatigue that tells of pain.  I'm sure that's there.  But am I sorry I prayed that?  Not really.  A bit surprised at what's occurred, but not sorry.

I'll now take some deep breaths, listen to restful music and let things go.   Just thinking that way puts my heart at ease just a bit.  Knowing that the Lord has everything under control. Everything. Take care, loves.

...and yes, I'm reading Middlemarch....hadn't realized how not smart I am until I began to read it.  :)

Stuff

Feeling smacked around a bit overmuch.  Oldest daughter's pick-up truck was stolen out of our driveway overnight.  She's got a metal sleeve on her steering column (put on by previous owners after it was stolen from them too), to make it impossible to break it and hotwire it.  Still, it's gone.

Oh, and she just paid about $900.00 to get her a/c completely overhauled.  Really, you're saying?

To say we all feel sick would be an understatement.

Many things in life are hitting against us right now.  Work, third son's relationship with his girlfriend, now this....just overwhelmed.

But still it stands that, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."~Romans 8:28 emphasis mine

And He is faithful.

'Soul Keeping' by John Ortberg

There's something about John Ortberg's newest book called Soul Keeping that disturbs me, but it's hard to put a finger on it.  Maybe part of it was his tendency to use humor to push a point across, but it came through as very juvenile.  And his stories about himself, especially one part when he admits his selfishness towards his wife during their honeymoon, no less, was troublesome to read.  His honesty might be considered a plus to some readers, but that's not the only incident where he talks about himself in an unflattering manner.  But it's not like he changes.  He just keeps being irritating. Enough already.  Stop pushing everybody's buttons.  And there's an incident where he badgers his two year old daughter to tears, shooting her with constant questions because he's tired of her doing the same to him. I guess his reason for sharing these stories is to show how our souls sometimes need work.  I get that, but still...

This book seems to be heavy on him quoting his spiritual mentor, Dallas Willard, who is an unknown to me.  Reminded me of reading Thomas Moore's book Care of the Soul and how he cozied up to the late Thomas Merton.  Nice to have someone to look up to, but the tendency is to quote your favorite writer/human/educator/pastor and present them as perfect.  Like their words are always crystal and worthy to be quoted.  I find that dangerous territory.

While I'll applaud his research and the references he uses, his anecdotes relying on humor to pull him through were draining to read.  I didn't detect sincerity, rather I felt I was reading work from a stand-up comedian.

(i received this e-book free to review from thomas nelson/booklook bloggers)

Tuesday morning

Thought I'd begin my day alone and quiet----tea in bed, rather than tea in the living room with two Pugs in my lap, rallying for who sits where.  Very distracting on my best day.  Sometimes I just need to be alone, and even with the kids hither and yon, it can be a challenge.

After third son got home last night from the restaurant (he went back part-time to his job after returning from Basic Training, etc.,), Gary and I were talking in the kitchen.  I said I felt like I rarely got anything accomplished, that so many things were left un-done.  As it was, I was plowing through second son's laundry---he and first-born bring their clothes here from their apartment, for which I'm grateful.  Nice to have a touch to do with their lives, even with them gone.  I consider it a blessing to be able to do that for them, and I'm not kidding.  To wash and fold their clothes, knowing that that part of their lives is taken care of makes me happy.  Moms.  We're so lame. :) Anyway, with trying to get the house whipped into shape before our Fourth of July cook-out on Friday, I'm a bit beside myself wanting it to look extra nice for third son's girlfriend's first visit here. I'm sensing permanence in that relationship (even with my qualms about it), and having 'mother-in-law' thoughts in my head puts it on a different plane.

And with Gary's shop being a bit quiet again (God's working on us, so darkness is part of our lives now), I'm trying to focus on my own job here at home.  I know the Lord is allowing the silence to show us to trust Him.  Challenging.  I woke up this morning, realizing it's a new month---the bills turn over once again, and the verse in the Bible about being anxious hit me.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."~Philippians 4:6-7

Like the lyrics in the Frozen movie---Let it Go!  Let it Go!

Anyway, to back up.  After I fussed about feeling as if I don't manage to finish anything, Gary caught me up and reminded me of the importance of my job.  I think I just needed to hear an 'attaboy'....a kind word.  And I was tired.  Easy to feel overdone when it's the end of the day and things look messy in the house.

Reminded too of a conversation I had yesterday afternoon with one of the grocery store managers. We usually visit when the kids and I go to the store.  He's just a nice guy.  So, we were comparing notes on what's going on---he had water in his basement from the heavy rains from the other night, and I have my own issues.  We agreed that it boiled down to Life.  Just that.  You might try to tidy it up, have long expanses with no worries, but it comes and goes like the waves of the sea. What's troubling me today will likely be resolved soon, but something else will take its place.  You can't escape it, but might as well be philosophical about it and go with it.  I find comfort in that. Knowing we're all trying to live our lives, not always doing the best job, but we're trying.  None of us escape it unscathed.  None of us.  As Gary says, we all have a wheelbarrow of junk to tote around.

So, the day winds in front of me.  I can hear the chickens outside my bedroom window.  The youngest girls had watermelon last night, and they're sharing the leftovers with the hens.  Trying to keep them cool on this, already, hot day.  And with most of the heavy cleaning already done, I can putter and decorate today.

Praying for God's blessing and favor on Gary's shop, giving more thanks for the groceries second son bought us yesterday, praising Him for what He can see ahead and I can't, thanks for the means to manage even when life seems unmanageable, for Mercy, Provision, and a thankful heart above all.  All wrapped up in Trust and Faith, and yes, easier said than done.