Thoughts on Sunday afternoon

Might be quiet around here at the blog this week. Need to get back to normal at our house, and concentrating on what's in front of my face would be wise. Cleaned up some messes this morning and got the house back to some sense of tidy. With life being a bit off kilter and one son at my mom's overnight, we stayed in from church, and not sure if that was the best choice or not. But it was the choice we picked, so no looking back.

Hard to know what to do, and I've felt so scattered that my brain has been on pause.

Have decided, though, that my mom needs to be in a position of doing more for herself. Again, not sure if that's wise either, but she's weak from staying down, afraid of falling, but you can't live that way, you know? Like her electric blanket. She broke her arm from tripping over the cord, which was sticking out from under her bed. Now she's afraid to use it. I told her we can snake the cord to where the sun don't shine, but I'm not persuasive enough. Also said that if you had a car accident, you'd not avoid going anywhere in a car. This is no different.

You tell her. Apparently I don't have the knack of being very convincing. I've lived my whole life under the curse of fear, whether justified or imagined. Gradually it's becoming clear to me where that originated.

Now. Will go be a wife and mother. The daughter stint is on hold for a couple of hours.

And am I being feisty? Why, yes.

Saturday's end

Spent last night at my mom's with middle daughter (who's 12) and was gratefully to get mom into the shower, get her hair washed and also to roll it. The silliness slipped in when I was rolling her hair and had dumped the plastic rollers out on the kitchen table. There had to be about 30 rollers in that bag, and I don't think I'm exaggerating. Anyway, I got to rolling it and after about 12 rollers, asked her how many she usually put in. She said that she generally used all of them. Imagine my horror in seeing that I was almost done and had used about 15. Thankfully she was just glad to be clean and shiny and the quality of my hair rolling wasn't an issue. Still, it was nice and poofy when it was all said and done!

One of the boys is there tonight, and we're slowly weaning her from needing someone at her house all the time. She's been alone the past 2 afternoons. It's maddening, though, how weak her right hand is even though that's not the arm that's in the splint/sling. She's just not very strong, anyway. We're going to have to figure out ways to get food set aside for her that's manageable. Told the kids that we need a meat or vegetable-flavored PopTart that she can put into the toaster. Don't think that there is such a thing, though. A great marketing idea, I'm thinking, and I'm only partly kidding.

Not sure what tomorrow holds, but glad to be here at home tonight. Have juggled our schedules enough to drive anyone nuts, but it's necessary and the kids are very willing. Having us split up is a strain, however, with the little girls a bit off kilter at either me or their older sister hither and yon. And we're avoiding Gary or me being out of the house one right after the other. It's so sweet when the kids tell me that he's like a lost puppy when I'm gone overnight. And likewise is true as well. One night in a row is enough of that, so I guess that shows we're still smitten.

Well, today's good and I don't have to figure out the rest of the weekend yet. Time to rest, and after only 5 or so hours of sleep, I think it's overdue.

Blessings

"O Father, help us to know that the hiding of Thy face is wise love. Thy love is not fond, doting and reasonless. Thy bairns must often have the frosty cold side of the hill, and set down both their bare feet amongst the thorns. Thy love hath eyes, and in the meantime is looking on. Our pride must have winter weather."~George MacDonald (from Elizabeth Goudge's 'A Diary of Prayer')

This quote was from the devotion from yesterday and is spot on to our situation. I never understand the times when we pray and God is silent. Or maybe I'm too hasty to think that He's not aware. I see the practical side of our needs, and He has more in store. It's really never about a paycheck or even more mundane things, but is always about our relationship to Him. I'm often blind to that. I want results, and in return I get guidance and (hopefully) growth. But I'm not always so willing.

So many times I get horsey with God (but in a mild way) and frown about how my prayers aren't being answered. I'll shake my head about how the bills have to be paid, and why doesn't He do something about it. Then I'll feel ashamed at my attitude and ask forgiveness, but always after I've had my rant, and not during.

Then, the Lord sends a breath of His Spirit that lets me know that He's still there, even though seemingly a background figure. But He IS there. And He's done that today...given a breath. And you know, that's all I needed. Won't go into detail, but I so needed that blessing. We all did. A bookmark on my soul to let me remember that He's listening. Makes my eyes prickle.

On a sunny Thursday

In bed with the laptop, a pile of library books at my side. I'll leave to pick up kids directly, and oldest daughter is doing grandmother duty tonight, so I can be at home. The least one slept with me last night with Gary over at my mom's. I slept fitfully, but sweetly, as I felt her gradually roll over to my side of the bed until this morning she was tickled to be almost on top of me. Such an angel. She's been feeling momma withdrawal with me running back and forth and seeming distracted.

Today I've had some time to myself, and washed some machine-made lace pieces in Mrs. Meyer's lavender cleaner. Will put a tablecloth-sized piece on the dining room table before dinner, and since it's not an old family bit of lace, won't fret if it gets messed up. There's more where this came from.

Many things hammering at my head, namely my mom, but also needing work in the shop. A dry spell alongside new routines is difficult at best. Still praying that the lady who made noises about Gary's chairs will be inspired to take them home. This week would be nice for that.

And trying to listen to God's quiet voice when I don't understand the manner of how He does things. I scratch my head a lot. Good thing I've got an abundance of hair, or it'd be piled up in my lap.

Take care.

Late Wednesday afternoon

Feeling like my head's gonna explode. Too much to do, my goodness. My brain is whirling at an extraordinarily unaccustomed speed, and I'm being challenged over and above what's normal for me.

After many errands this afternoon, which I could NOT have accomplished without assorted children's help, I'm now in bed with a cup of hot Lady Grey while meat simmers for tacos (oldest daughter's contribution for dinner). Husband is staying with my mom tonight, and the rest of us are home, except for 2 boys who are working.

I know there are women out there who can *do* all of the time and appear to be tough and able. I just don't happen to be one of them. I have to have daily naps. Will likely be the help overnight tomorrow for my mom and am trying to man up to the task. Don't know why I'm having such a hard time, but I am. And it's not like I'm physically challenged, but it's more in my head. Will try to chill and avoid the exploding factor. Must look after myself.

So, while I debate whether to buy the latest issue of 'Victoria' or 'Romantic Homes' with my bit of fun money, will look at 'Matchbook Magazine' online. Looks good. :)

Good book for a rainy day

About to rotate the kids at my mom's house, but wanted to pop in here with my thoughts first. Reading a wonderful book by River Jordan, and I can honestly say that it's one of the best I've read in ages. Perfect for where my head is now, though not really sure why. It's called "The Messenger of Magnolia Street", and could be considered Christian fiction in my mind (though not advertised in that way), but the spirituality is light and not what you'd expect. I have sticky notes tucked all through my library copy, and will jot down the quotes that jumped out at me when I get a minute. I will say this about the book...it takes place in the South, and she nails the dialogue right on the money. Folks don't sound like hicks and we can use the word *ain't* without being labeled hillbillies. Least not to each other. Not sure what anyone else would say. Anyway, I have about 20 pages left in the book, and will be sad to put it down. The highest praise I can give.

Anyway, as I said, it's my day to ferry kids to my mom's house, and one of the boys spent last night, and another one will do likewise tonight. Bless 'em, they're holding me up and keeping me from sinking. Gary reminded me on the phone just now, though, that we have to watch how we deal with this situation, and not put too much on them. They're willing, but are also easily hurt. Even oldest daughter is recovering today from too much stress from the weekend and the trauma of my mom's fall in particular.

One day. And just this very minute.

Us common folk

"Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"~Romans 9:21

My husband was saying the other day something about being content to be a chamberpot. He was frustrated at his business just limping along at times, and his desire to be better at his woodworking skills (though I can vouch for the fact that he's darn good at what he does---he just doesn't see it). And wanting to be able to do more for us, but being limited in a financial way with that. It's hard to be the main bread winner of a family of ten, regardless of half of the kids having full-time jobs. The balance of the responsibility continues to be on his shoulders, yet our children are extremely generous at the same time.

But he says honestly that he's learning to be a chamberpot and not a vase (he pronounces it vahz). Don't get me wrong, he'd like to be more successful, but we're realizing that that's not where the Lord has placed us. We're bread and butter and not pastry. Cotton and not linen. We're not fancy.

But sometimes, just sometimes, it'd be a treat for life to manage us a bit gentler. Often enough we run into folks who are very happy to treat us like chamberpots. We get the 'below the stairs' treatment. And I guess that's okay, 'cause if the Lord sees fit to place us where He wants us, then we need to make sure we settle into it.

Being humbled isn't always comfortable, but necessary, I guess. And grumbling needs to be kept at a minimum.

More of the same...

At the risk of this blog turning into a whine-fest, I'm thinking that at this juncture of life, it'd be wise to document life as it appears now. So, if you shake your head at my posts, I understand. But as our oldest daughter said something to the effect that we really don't know how folks feel about certain experiences until we run into the same things. Well, she's right. I can *feel* for folks all day, but until my life parallels theirs in some way, I really don't have a clue. I'm now understanding more about how straining the days can become when something new is tossed into the mix, especially when it regards elderly parents.

Daughter is at my mom's now, as her out-of-town company is heading back home now. We've been feeling on edge since Wednesday, when mom broke her arm, trying to *be there* all the time. Frustrating. Had it all settled in my head, last night, that we could rotate who sleeps over at her house (a benefit of having my brood of children), then switching out in the morning, then possibly leaving Mom to her own devices for the afternoon until the night shift went over. Then it hit me that she's totally unable to get herself out of her den chair without help. She'd be captive, and that's probably not a good thing (very small attempt at humor). So my brain goes into 'figure-it-out' mode again, thinking how we'll fit in the schoolwork as well. Could someone invent a tool that will turn off my thought processes for a bit, please?

And thinking it'd be foolish to take my blood pressure this morning, because it'd likely be in the danger zone. Must do yoga and some deep breathing to settle my spirits. Man.

The real kicker came yesterday when I got over to her house, and saw that my SIL had bought a toilet seat gadget that allows mom her privacy and the ability to get up by herself. Excellent. And she also got a chair specifically for the tub/shower. Another great idea. But my problem came when my mom showed enthusiasm for taking a bath THEN. Immediately. Well, I'm not ready for that form of intimacy, even though she is. Put her off by telling her that she didn't have anymore plastic garbage bags (the honest truth), and so there wasn't anything in the house to cover her hard splint with. She backed down, though a bit unwillingly.

I need to take this slow, as I do everything. Shove a new idea or situation in my face and it takes me some time to adjust. So I snuggle here in bed, though snuggle gives the impression of coziness, and I feel far from cozy, but I'm trying to turn off my head. Good luck, eh?

Saturday morning

First off, thanks so much for your sweet comments in regards to my last post. That means a lot, truly. But I'm struggling here, trying to be in two places at one time (here and at my mom's), and the juggling part (which I'm famous for) is now more difficult. To be leaned on so much is a challenge with my mom reminding me that I'm her 'right hand man' and that she only wants me to help her do certain tasks. It's hard. For a person who's already stretched to her limit (or what she 'thought' was her limit), it's causing me to freak out a bit.

And one part is watching my mom's helplessness. She really is beginning to be so frail, and just in the past year. I remember a year ago thinking that her resilience was amazing. Now, not so much. Well, her spirits are high and she has WAY more energy than I do, and always has. I tend to need a nap in the afternoons (which I've not had in 3 days---ouch), and she can sit up and talk for hours. Me, not so much.

Truly this is one day at a time living. She's thinking she'll be more up and around in 2 weeks, when her next appointment with the doctor rolls around. We're thinking 2 months is more realistic, with more time after that for physical therapy.

Sorry for the down post. I just feel overwhelmingly overwhelmed and needed to whine.

It's still not about me

So I hesitate posting about one more drama, but this one sort of puts the icing on the cake. My mom took a fall yesterday afternoon (caught her foot in the cord of her electric blanket) and broke a bone in her upper arm. And I'm spending a few minutes online looking at pretty photos in order to get my head on straight.

Can't process the fact that my 82 year old mom will be in need of constant care for awhile. And while she is fiercely independent (which is a good thing), she won't be able to deny that help is needed. Even going to the bathroom is a trial, and one that can't be attended to alone. Not easy to have to depend on folks for something as basic as that.

Thankfully, oldest daughter spent the night with her last night, and is over there now. The kids are going to spend the day, and help her out. I'll be there tonight, and my brother and his sweet family will be in town for the weekend (unrelated to her accident, but they were already coming).

Will not focus on next week, and how we'll manage with the juggling, but will sit here and drink my tea and take tiny bites of life. Tiny.

And as my mom has been known to say, "Life sure gets teejus, don't it?"

Wednesday morning

Thinking that life holds very little blog-originality, here lately. But thankfully, we're getting into our routines again after being sick. The coughs have lessened, and everyone's more perky. And work has picked up in Gary's shop, at least for the past two days. Praying for it to keep up. One customer is thinking about buying the chairs he made last year. She bought a checker board table from him not too awfully long ago, and wants the chairs to go beside it. She'll have to have them finished and caned (or whatever seating she chooses), but the sale would be dishy for us. It'd take us through the rest of the month, and then some.

On other fronts, the house is relatively sparkly again, with major cleaning done on Monday. The girls are working on their dollhouse this week as well---painting it pink and about to wallpaper it. Will have to see what scraps of paper and cloth we can find to do the inside walls.

Pinto beans, salsa, cheese and flour tortillas for dinner. Wish you were here. :)

Monday

It's a nice, cozy and rainy day. And the first day back to doing schoolwork since the flu smacked us upside the head. I'm thinking we'll take it slow. And the house is in dire need of a good cleaning. I don't even want to talk about the condition of the kitchen floor. Hoping to get the boys to mop it and put on another coat of Danish oil. It's just sad-looking, as is the rest of this place.

One day at a time. I'll try to keep my focus on what's in front of me, and not borrow trouble. January has traditionally been a slow month for the workshop, and this month is no different. September is the other slow time, with folks getting their kids off to school. Usually we sort of grin and bear January, but I'd prefer to be a bit more grown-up about it.

This faith stuff (even after all these years) still trips me up. I want to believe (even to the point of clicking my heels together), but find that I'm not always as trusting of the Lord as I need to be. So, will just do today. Just this hour. Just this small space of time that's in my lap. Just now.

And just read the email from the Breakthrough Intercessors, a prayer group that Catherine Marshall started around 30 years ago. They had this excerpt from her included today. So appropriate for me.

On Prayer: Catherine Marshall
This morning, I awoke full of worry about the future, with my husband Len having resigned from his job as editor of Guideposts. Len and I were in agreement in this step, and he is enthusiastic about going into book publishing, but I see so many obstacles ahead, especially when his salary stops coming.



Then the Lord directed me to the fourth chapter of Philippians particularly to verse 8. Whatever is worthy of reverence, is honorable and seemly, is just, is pure, is lovely and lovable, is kind and winsome and gracious; if there is any virtue, excellence, anything worthy of praise, [we are to] think on and weigh and take account of those things - fix your minds on them.



Now this might seem to be the worst kind of not facing reality were it not for the fact that earlier in the same chapter Paul has already exhorted us (v.6) to pray about everything, to pour our hearts out to the Heavenly Father with "definite requests."



Yet I slip into the worry stance in spite of telling myself over and over that God is the problem-solver, that we can confidently leave our situation in His hands. I know what I should do, yet emotionally and practically I do not act out this letting go. This morning, God seems to be pointing out chapter four in Philippians as a blueprint for handling crises His way: rejoice, pray, don't fret, be content, and guard our thoughts.


From "A Closer Walk," by Catherine Marshall (Chosen Books © 1986).

Sunday night

Fiddling around here since I needed some visual stimulation. Really, that's the only reason I change template stuff around here, being that I'm probably overly-needy for visual stimuli. Not sure how long I'll keep this one up---the boxes are a bit different, and things are strange, but it's fun to see something a bit girly 'round these parts.

Will leave it for now, and go watch 'Downton Abbey' on Masterpiece Theatre. The really cool part is that you can watch it online during the week as well. Enjoy.

Exhale

Oldest son got back home just before midnight from his trip to the frozen north. Said it didn't even feel cold here (it was below freezing) when he got to his car at the airport. SO glad to see him. And it was wonderful to have all my chickens under one roof last night.

And it's funny how a mom's mind and heart work when things are up in the air. The whole time he was gone, we were in the throes of sickness (still dealing with the dregs), and I felt addled. One person makes such a huge difference, and their absence more than anything else. It's like I was on pause, and only now can I get on with things. My goodness, what'll it be like when they begin moving out? Will have to have distractions, then, for sure.

But it's an age-old story. Kids leave home, parents retire from work (not likely here since Gary is self-employed), but you know what I mean. We all go through basically the same patterns, but how we deal with them is our personal issue.

Me? I need to focus really close to home. Not anticipate problems, but be deeply grateful for today. That's hard, since my nature seems to be one of wanting to know what's up ahead. But know what? I never do.

So, today is spent with decorating for Valentine's Day. It's exactly a month away, and I just love putting up my heart lights, sparkly garland, and making the outdoor wreaths all pink and red. It's one of my favorite holidays. And for now, that's all I've got going, and considering how nutty it's been around here lately, that'll do just fine.

Thursday a.m.

So as it turns out, the latest Narnia wasn't playing last night at the theatre, and second son and I saw 'Tron Legacy' instead. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Or maybe I was so anxious to do something different for a change, that I would've watched anything, but I don't think so. It really was a treat to watch....not that I'm great sci-fi fan, but being that I've enjoyed the Stargate movies, this shouldn't come as a big surprise that last night's movie was fun.

On other fronts, oldest son comes back from his vacation in sunny Canada tonight. He's been dearly missed, and that's all I'll say about that. And he'll return to a bit warmer weather---might feel downright hot to him. We're going to rise to the occasion of 34 degrees today, but they say it'll feel more like the forties. At 18 degrees as I type this, that sounds just fine with me.

Now trip over to my Tumblr page for some sweet distractions. I just came from there myself.

Mid-week before dinner

Am SO tired of being cold. I realize I have friends who live in more arctic regions than we do, but gosh, when the temperatures go below freezing (and below zero last night), for too many days, I just get anxious. Makes my skin ache---theoretically, of course, but still.

Tonight's low is to be 11 degrees, with a warm-up to the forties on the weekend. Dishy.

With Gary's BAM! of the flu smacking him again last night, I'm hoping he'll lay low tonight. His temperature flashed up to over 102 before bed, but he still went to work today. I'm not married to a lazy man, that's for sure.

Got several books at the library on the way home from dropping third son off at work. Am currently into 'When Crickets Cry' by Charles Martin. An emotional story, which probably isn't the best choice for me, considering my fragile mental state from our quarantined life here, but I'm not always one who makes the most intelligent decisions. But I'm enjoying it. Looking forward to tucking up in bed later on tonight and getting lost in it. Before that, though, will go to see the newest Narnia movie with second son. He's paying, so it's all good.

Take care and keep warm.

'Sabbath' by Dan B. Allender

Dan Allender's book 'Sabbath' is not what I expected. And while I appreciate his direct attack on the legalism that cripples so many people and their participation in the Sabbath, the book seems to be more focused on the individual's pleasure in the day and not the honoring of God. He overuses adjectives to sell his point of view, and is more effusive than necessary. I don't believe that the Sabbath day is meant to be one big love-fest, but instead is to be spent in honor of our Creator. Allender seems to be more into a partying mentality.

Several sentences in the book jumped out at me, and not in a good way: "The Sabbath is the weekly entry into a taste of lavish, sensuous delight." --p. 79 "If we aspire to a more life-giving delight, then we will need to go further into the heart of the Sabbath. It is a simple principle: we get of God what we desire."--p. 95

In reference to Sabbath wine, he writes: "There are many words for intoxication in the Bible, and the phrase 'gladdening the heart' implies a sweet, slight rounding of the edges, a warm, gentle buzz.-----It takes the edge off, doesn't distort with true intoxication, and allows an entry into pleasure that may not be possible without the dollop of a small draft."--p. 130

Purely on the basis of Allender's unusual point of view, I'd not recommend this book. A deep respect for God the Father seems to be missing, with the reader being led on a merry journey to hedonism rather than worship of the Creator of the Universe. Or maybe I'm just being overly legalistic.

(this book was provided free to review from thomas nelson/booksneeze)

A tiny bit better 'round these parts

In a strange mood today. Partly it's just a feeling of being overwhelmed over a long stretch of time. Nothing big is going on, but the stress of continual sick bodies surrounding me has taken its toll on my mental health. It'll do that. I've been encouraged by my friends who compare what it's like to have only one or a few sick kids compared to our 8 being laid low with the flu, plus Gary. It's been draining. I'd be lying if I said it was anything else. I'll never attempt to make life with a large family sound anything other than what it is. It's hard, okay?!! Dislike it when women paint a huge brood as being a constant blessing in all ways. That'd just be silly.

So, for a couple of days, I'll pull back. And school can wait. Besides, the kids' brains are a bit loose in their heads, and to teach them anything just would be wasted energy. We have groceries to last through dinner tomorrow, and no real need to get out. Have a new library book I picked up today, and have dipped into a book that's been sitting on the shelf for a few years, given to me by a Scottish friend online, called 'The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets' by Eva Rice. The plan is to get lost inside of one of these stories. I could use a bit of fantasy time, you know.

Perhaps we all could. :)

Maybe snow

Keeping fussing with my templates here (not that you can tell), and watching the weather maps at the same time. Snow's on its way and that'd be just fine with me. With Gary laid up on the sofa feeling lousy with this flu, the house has to be quiet. Well, that's my doing, not Gary being difficult. He's got the aches and overall rotten feeling today, so hopefully he can stay down and sleep it off.

Not much else going on. We're in a muffled existence anyway, with the flu taking over our house. It sort of defines how we do the day, and let me tell you, it's pretty light-weight. And with it being so COLD, we're huddled up in the house anyway.

The only exciting piece of new is that my latest Robert Benson book ('Digging In') came in the mail yesterday, but apparently the mailer it came in got slit with a knife at some point and then dropped in a puddle. The cover actually dripped when I took it out of the plastic envelope. Can't blame the seller, however, because this must have happened after they mailed it. Plus, I only paid a penny plus shipping for it. Glad it's a paperback, since it'll dry out tidier than if it was a hardback, I'm thinking. Right now, it's propped up by the crockpot (which is full of vegetable soup), and the heat from it is doing a fine job of drying the pages. The way I look at it, the pages will make a nice crunchy sound when I read the book. Maybe that'll be tomorrow, eh?

Once again, it's not about me

Tired today. Have been on the move these past few days, as you know, and have worried plenty, and I guess it's time to just stop. Even oldest daughter told me to get back into bed to rest this morning---saying I looked so tired. 'Course I didn't have any make-up on at that time as well, so, you know.

Anyway, was trying to work up the enthusiasm and energy to go to the store and fetch something for dinner. Hadn't gotten very far except for getting dressed, when my mom called. This was around lunch-time. She was at the grocery store at that very minute and asked what I needed/wanted. (exhale an abundance of air) Let's say that she pulled enough information out of me to get a list for dinner. We're having chili.

The thing is, my mom is 82 years old, and we've been doing her shopping for weeks (until recently) when she's been feeling draggy and under the weather. But considering how slowly she has to move (her hips give her fits), to have her wait on us really is hard. Must've been what the Lord had in mind, though, and I'm praying He blesses her with a pain-free afternoon as a reward.

Guess I'm not always keen on how He runs things, including how He answers our prayers. He tends to get other folks involved, when my pride would rather Gary and I do the chores. And it's not about being beholding to others, but just wanting to be able. Only that. To be able to do it.

I'm crying now, so forgive me for being emotional.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

A moment of quiet

Husband washed dishes again tonight---usually a child's job on a rotating basis. He put the kettle on to boil as well, as he sarcastically pushed me into our bedroom to rest. Wouldn't let me put away the dry dishes or anything. He can be ornery in such an endearing way, and he did basically the same thing last night, but who am I to argue with a husband such as this? So I took out one of my cafe au lait bowls and got cozy. Nice to rest, as you can imagine. Besides, everyone at that point was tucked up somewhere warm and snug.

Oh, and I read the prettiest thing tonight that got me to thinking. Read this and tell me you don't want to putter around the house and do housewifely sorts of tasks. The page I've linked is from Mary Swenson's site---her tumblr being so pretty as well. I just liked the idea of *little vignettes* she mentions on her blog. Gives me inspiration for something to strive for when we finish being a sick ward.

Must go now. A bit dizzy. Not in a flu-y sort of way, but it's time to stop.

Rest well.

A sickroom update (for posterity)

Bam! Did you hear the least one fall into her second round this morning? Well, honestly, I was sort of waiting for it. She's been bouncing around for days, but got achy earlier and had a temperature. Still, she never gets as sick as some of the other ones. I wonder if it's partly her personality. She doesn't take life seriously AT ALL, and things just pass over her. Must be the optimist in her.

And youngest son, with his high fever, had a spell of the Alice in Wonderland syndrome....that's when your body parts seem oddly sized or your perception of distances is distorted. I'd never heard of this until one of the boys had this happen when he had Mono several years back. Several of our kids have experienced this with fevers since then, and while it's common, doesn't make it any less startling. He said last night if felt like his hands were huge and super strong. It passed when we got the fever down, but still.

Now I'm going to read my Anne Perry library book called 'Brunswick Gardens' which is very good. Sort of Sherlock Holmes-esque, and mild enough that my sickroom-drained brain can manage it. Don't make me read anything that requires words of many syllables, or I'll be lost. Not that Perry's books are that simplistic, but they are pretty easy to absorb, nonetheless.

Will hang onto the reality of kids getting well. We've moved into the third week of it, so guess it's time for some relief.

Remember to take your vitamins.

Getting better

Finally seeing improvement in some of the kids. It's always interesting to see how they react to illness in different ways. Oldest daughter will plug along and help and do things around the house---all the while pooh-poohing that she feels bad. Such a peach. Unfortunately that caught up with her this morning. I guess thinking that she's been dealing with this illness for over 2 weeks now, she figured she was on the mend. Well, she and Gary were driving to work just after 8am and she was bent over with pain from coughing--when she had the flu a couple of years back, she had the same experience with having what appeared to be, bruised ribs. He turned the truck around and told her to call her boss, while he headed home. He told me later that she gave a huge sigh of relief at being able to relax. I've dosed her with herbs (lots and lots of echinacea) and more common stuff, and she began to feel better by late afternoon. She's not in such pain---seriously, I was most concerned with pneumonia, but believe we've forestalled that.

Third son is finally better as well, after getting sick a second time, but bless him---he's had to work and not be up to snuff. His older brother is filling in for him at the restaurant tonight, and he's not feeling keen himself just yet. Man, it's hard. Really tough to see them being responsible at work while all the time, they'd rather be at home. That's the life in the world, though.

Now if fourth and fifth sons will perk up a bit more, plus middle daughter, we'll be in high cotton. I'm thinking we've passed the crisis point. If anyone's wondering what's going on with the least one---well, she was sick for about 45 minutes (yes, I exaggerate, but still...), last week, and is fine. That's her way.

And I was glad to see some smiles on their faces before they began getting ready for bed. My mom always told me that a temperature rises when the sun begins to set, making me think that our bodies are sad to see the darkness arrive and so give in to a fever (maybe running a bit too poetical there). Fifth son was at just over 103, so guess that fits, but at least he can still grin.

Will be glad for a fresh new day tomorrow. Gary brought me a cup of hot tea a few minutes ago, and that was welcome. Just the simple things. When life gets to bare bones with a sick-house, basic needs are the name of the game.

Hope you sleep well.

Enough already

"Bam, bam, bam!" I said walking down the hallway. My husband looked up at me from the sofa and asked why I was repeating myself. Said I was making the noise of the kids as they get hit with this flu bug. "Bam!" One after another (with 3 of them getting sick a second go-round) they've gone down for the count. Four were in bed by dinner-time last night. Middle daughter, who's 12, is the most recent victim right after her slightly older brother.

We sit around waiting for someone else to feel lousy. Gary and I are the lone hold-outs and I told him I've not caught the flu because I'm mean, right? He gave me a look (happening lots lately) and joked that that was a question and not a statement, hmm?

I've been in denial calling this a *sort of* flu or a bad cold. Well, darn it, it IS the flu. On the up-side, folks tend to be immune from catching it again for several months after having it. Least that's what I'm going to believe. With this nonsense in the house, I'll take humor or positive input in any way I can.

News from the infirmary

Well, nuts. Figured we were on the mend here, with the cold virus thingy finally leaving us, but youngest son is getting sick now, and middle daughter has a bit of a cough. Plus, three of 'em are still coughing from a week ago. And I had a spell of anemia yesterday, and had to avoid bending down too much because it made me dizzy. Seems with the kids sick, I've been lax in taking my vitamins including the ever-important iron. I say 'nuts' again.

That's my story, as sickroom-ish as it is. Maybe if I can push the vacuum around today, and wipe up the flat surfaces, the house won't look so peaky. It seems a bit frazzled with neglect.

Fortunately, there are things for the 2 girls to do with their schoolwork without too much help from me. Plus they're painting the dollhouse one of the brothers made a few years back. Their project is to paint and decorate it this week. And youngest son (when he's feeling better) will make a comic book about the folks who live in the dollhouse, and fourth son will write a story (he writes a LOT) about the boy who's writing the comic book about the dollhouse. A trickle down assignment. Came to me the other night when I was wrestling with not wanting to get slam into the basic school courses and wanting to be more creative with them.

Well, must go and be productive, or as much so as I can with still feeling a bit under the weather. Won't run any marathons today! That darned anemia does make a person feel weary, but I'm glad I know how to solve it. Maybe I needed to slow down anyway.

Enjoy your day. :)

'The Quotable Chesterton' by Kevin Belmonte

Kevin Belmonte has paid an amazing tribute to G.K. Chesterton in his book 'The Quotable Chesterton'. I just wish I was intelligent enough to appreciate it as much as my husband does, being that he's a huge fan.

The entire book is first class, beginning with the Introduction, through the quotes (which are incredibly varied and meaty), and to the end with the Notes section. Belmonte has done a beautiful job of sharing Chesterton's faith and talent in a way that's rarely seen anymore. The thing is, the end of the 19th century and into the 20th century gave us writers of a quality who are a rarity these days. Chesterton is one of those treasures, and the more we can be re-introduced to him, the better.

And while I can't even imagine the man behind the words, being that I hold Chesterton, Lewis, and MacDonald in such high regard, I would like to share my favorite and maybe Chesterton's simplest quote,

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

I concur.

(i received this book free to review from thomas nelson/booksneeze)

Hoppin' John

Had a couple of requests about the Hoppin' John I made for New Year's Eve (meant to be eaten on New Year's Day, however, for good luck), and thought I'd share the recipe. Partly so I'd not forget it.

Ingredients:
-about 3 cups cooked long-grain white rice
-one pound bag of black-eyed peas soaked and simmered until done, and salted to taste (sea salt seems to be best)
-in a skillet cook until crispy about 6 slices of bacon and then crumble and set aside
-in same skillet, in bacon drippings, cook about 1/4 cup of a mixture of onions, and red/green peppers (I use a mixture that's sold in the frozen section of the store called 'Seasoning Blend' or something like that
-after that's cooked a bit pour in one can (14.5 oz.) diced tomatoes...I used Hunt's garlic and olive oil flavor
-then add almost all of the peas (drained) and all of the rice...get it to your consistency, adding the bacon last, and stirring well

Total yum-ness with cornbread on the side. Oh, and I put some of the same onion mixture in the cornbread and baked it in the same skillet I cooked the bacon in. Talk about good. And, by the way, this recipe, as is, feeds 10 folks.

About those resolutions

In this New Year, I'm not going to pressure myself with things I think I *ought* to do, rather will focus on taking care of myself in a more genuine way. For example: would love to lose weight, but won't load myself with guilt if it doesn't happen. Told my husband the other night that 2010 had been a hard year, and he said that I say that every year. That prompted me to tell him that he's not supposed to know me well enough to make comments like that. He raised his bushy eyebrows at me for that remark. Still, I'd rather remain a tiny bit mysterious, just in case. Seems I'm not doing too swift a job in that department, does it?

Anyway, mentioned to oldest daughter today that I feel like I'm always on alert, watching and listening for details of everything that goes on around here. I listen to hear if the dryer is run too long, or if the tub drips overmuch, also am always fretting if the dogs annoy anyone--especially when the frustration of moving one more dog/child gate gets on anyone's nerves. See, I've taken on the job of insuring everyone's happiness and contentment---except my own.

I see a trend here, and this year hope to alter it. I want to move on up the list of my own importance. Sure, I'll take care of them, but have left myself off by the side of the road way too much. And it's not that I'm a doormat. They respect me around here, but I've allowed myself to be a minor note. And I'm tired of being sad about that.

Now just as a happy for you, go listen to Adam Watts' 'When Everything Else is Gone', and tell me if the introduction reminds you of the Beatles. And wanted to add that oldest daughter rented a movie on Amazon called 'The Lightkeepers' and I watched it yesterday and totally loved it. The reviews are poor, but she and I both thought it was very sweet. Maybe folks are so jaded by high action and convoluted plots that they can't appreciate simple acting and a good old-fashioned story. Never mind them. It was a treat.