It's a nice, cozy and rainy day. And the first day back to doing schoolwork since the flu smacked us upside the head. I'm thinking we'll take it slow. And the house is in dire need of a good cleaning. I don't even want to talk about the condition of the kitchen floor. Hoping to get the boys to mop it and put on another coat of Danish oil. It's just sad-looking, as is the rest of this place.
One day at a time. I'll try to keep my focus on what's in front of me, and not borrow trouble. January has traditionally been a slow month for the workshop, and this month is no different. September is the other slow time, with folks getting their kids off to school. Usually we sort of grin and bear January, but I'd prefer to be a bit more grown-up about it.
This faith stuff (even after all these years) still trips me up. I want to believe (even to the point of clicking my heels together), but find that I'm not always as trusting of the Lord as I need to be. So, will just do today. Just this hour. Just this small space of time that's in my lap. Just now.
And just read the email from the Breakthrough Intercessors, a prayer group that Catherine Marshall started around 30 years ago. They had this excerpt from her included today. So appropriate for me.
On Prayer: Catherine Marshall
This morning, I awoke full of worry about the future, with my husband Len having resigned from his job as editor of Guideposts. Len and I were in agreement in this step, and he is enthusiastic about going into book publishing, but I see so many obstacles ahead, especially when his salary stops coming.
Then the Lord directed me to the fourth chapter of Philippians particularly to verse 8. Whatever is worthy of reverence, is honorable and seemly, is just, is pure, is lovely and lovable, is kind and winsome and gracious; if there is any virtue, excellence, anything worthy of praise, [we are to] think on and weigh and take account of those things - fix your minds on them.
Now this might seem to be the worst kind of not facing reality were it not for the fact that earlier in the same chapter Paul has already exhorted us (v.6) to pray about everything, to pour our hearts out to the Heavenly Father with "definite requests."
Yet I slip into the worry stance in spite of telling myself over and over that God is the problem-solver, that we can confidently leave our situation in His hands. I know what I should do, yet emotionally and practically I do not act out this letting go. This morning, God seems to be pointing out chapter four in Philippians as a blueprint for handling crises His way: rejoice, pray, don't fret, be content, and guard our thoughts.
From "A Closer Walk," by Catherine Marshall (Chosen Books © 1986).
