At the risk of this blog turning into a whine-fest, I'm thinking that at this juncture of life, it'd be wise to document life as it appears now. So, if you shake your head at my posts, I understand. But as our oldest daughter said something to the effect that we really don't know how folks feel about certain experiences until we run into the same things. Well, she's right. I can *feel* for folks all day, but until my life parallels theirs in some way, I really don't have a clue. I'm now understanding more about how straining the days can become when something new is tossed into the mix, especially when it regards elderly parents.
Daughter is at my mom's now, as her out-of-town company is heading back home now. We've been feeling on edge since Wednesday, when mom broke her arm, trying to *be there* all the time. Frustrating. Had it all settled in my head, last night, that we could rotate who sleeps over at her house (a benefit of having my brood of children), then switching out in the morning, then possibly leaving Mom to her own devices for the afternoon until the night shift went over. Then it hit me that she's totally unable to get herself out of her den chair without help. She'd be captive, and that's probably not a good thing (very small attempt at humor). So my brain goes into 'figure-it-out' mode again, thinking how we'll fit in the schoolwork as well. Could someone invent a tool that will turn off my thought processes for a bit, please?
And thinking it'd be foolish to take my blood pressure this morning, because it'd likely be in the danger zone. Must do yoga and some deep breathing to settle my spirits. Man.
The real kicker came yesterday when I got over to her house, and saw that my SIL had bought a toilet seat gadget that allows mom her privacy and the ability to get up by herself. Excellent. And she also got a chair specifically for the tub/shower. Another great idea. But my problem came when my mom showed enthusiasm for taking a bath THEN. Immediately. Well, I'm not ready for that form of intimacy, even though she is. Put her off by telling her that she didn't have anymore plastic garbage bags (the honest truth), and so there wasn't anything in the house to cover her hard splint with. She backed down, though a bit unwillingly.
I need to take this slow, as I do everything. Shove a new idea or situation in my face and it takes me some time to adjust. So I snuggle here in bed, though snuggle gives the impression of coziness, and I feel far from cozy, but I'm trying to turn off my head. Good luck, eh?
