The door to 2013...

Let's see----2012.  Thinking of what's happened, and what's up for the New Year.  And while I'd say this has been a tough year, mostly in an emotional way, we've kept our heads above water. Finances have pinched, and it seems more folks are in that situation.  That sounds a bit draggy, but it is what it is. Life is hard, okay?

It's been a year of challenges, partly with my friend, Patricia's death and with me joining the Anglican church. Big changes.  Things that sink into you in a deep way.  Changes that don't just come and go, but stick with you and maybe make you sit up straight.  Hard stuff.

When I either get out or put away the Christmas decorations, I'm reminded each year of where we are at that very moment.  Who's passed away, who's been born and anything else major that's new and different.  Possibly 2 of our boys will have moved away within the coming months---one, pretty much, for certain.  And I'm not sure where our oldest daughter's relationship to sweet Indian boyfriend will be by the end of 2013.  He'll have finished up his culinary schooling, but will have to get settled into a job as well.  He's got, what they call, an externship to fulfill, and that may require him to be out of town to train too.  Who knows?

I've got to trust the Lord with it.  ALL of it.  As a mother, it's too easy to pick at things, and inflict my personal longings on things.  To burden my blossoming children with what I want for them.  Usually I keep my mouth shut, and that holds its own frustrations.  To see your children struggle when a word from you could make a difference, but knowing you have to keep silent.  Not easy.

So, while I'm a bit anxious about what's to come, I do realize it's not my job to manage all of it.  My name tag does not say God on it.

(photo from eduardo on morguefile)

Sunday night

Came home from church this morning tired, but good tired.  After lunch and a nap, I realized I was suffering from after-Christmas exhaustion, most of it brought about from church activities. But still, all good.

I sang in the choir today for our Lessons and Caroles.  There were, let's see, six of us.  One alto, so I tried my hand at that as well.  Can't hit those higher soprano notes anymore. And as my husband says, "Use it or lose it," which could apply to my present-day lack of singing skill since schooldays so many decades ago.  I don't have the range, but maybe practice would cure that.  Don't know for sure.  I do love the alto harmony, though.  Funny thing.  When our priest began singing with us before services (and he can really belt it out), I was able to sing stronger as well.  Is there some sneaky sort of metaphor in that predicament, do you think?

Now I'm wondering if I'll be asked to stay in the choir.  Part of me wants to be in the congregation with our children since Gary still isn't a regular attender.  I'm torn.  'Course I'm fretting over nothing since I'm not sure if they'll even want me to continue on with the choir after Christmas.  But really, they have only 5 or 6 regular members.  What do you think will happen!??

So, I'll pray and see how this plays out.  I want to be where the Lord would want me, and that's the perfect place.  If I'm there in His spot, then everything else will pan out. Isn't that the way?

Still, it's pretty awesome to be part of the processional each Sunday.  To follow the cross (and the lovely incense when they have it) and wear the beautiful garb.  But not just that---the history connected to all of it is glorious all by itself. And each time I've sat in the chancel area, whether in the choir or at mid-week prayer, I'm blown away by where I am at this place in time.  Who would've figured this long-time Reformed Presbyterian would have ended up Anglican?  Honestly, I've never feel so deeply moved by church until this past year and a half.  Never.  There's something about the liturgy.  It makes my heart swell.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas...

On the Fourth Day of Christmas

Wm. Holman Hunt's 'The Triumph of the Innocents'

Besides being the Fourth Day of Christmas, it's also the celebration of the Feast of the Holy Innocents.  Now, being a new Anglican, I'm unfamiliar with lots that goes on.  I will say, however, that the old school churches have such a wonderful grip on history, and what needs to be remembered.  And to have symbols and feast days to commemorate them is a sweet reminder.

Our priest made the correlation tonight with the martyred children who Herod had slain to our present-day abortion nightmare.  And of course, everyone is reminded of the innocent children and adults who died 2 weeks ago today in Connecticut.  It all falls together.

Twelve of us were at the service, and truly, I enjoy the small ones better than Sundays. Never in my life has church touched me so deeply.  And amen to that.

Me again...

Have spent the last 1/2 hour on Pinterest, mostly looking at pretties and crafts with owls.  I do so love owls. So pug-like, if you think about it.  Smashed-in faces. So cute.

And I got to thinking about what *word* I want to keep in mind for the new year.  This time last year, Patricia and I talked about this and I decided that my word for 2012 would be Surrender.  I'm thinking I've done well by that moniker, and have gotten better at letting go of things.  Whether it's hurt, anger or sadness---it's not as hard as it once was.  At least that's what I'm telling myself today!

Anyway, was talking to Gary about this the other night and he was in a silly mood and said my new word should be Shazam.  I don't think he gets it.  Nut.  But really, thinking that Play would be a perky thought to keep in mind.  I'm good at thinking about doing, but don't always follow through.  I'm a theoretically player and not so much a real-life player.  I work much, play less often.  Must amend that.

(clickable pinterest photo)

Little stresses

Mothering...and daughtering.  Full-time jobs that wear a person out.

My mom is in an odd mental place just now.  Has called a halt to the kids coming to her house (bi-weekly since we got back to school in September), but she won't elaborate. Says she doesn't want to do the regular grandmother thing anymore.  But says she does want to see them every once in awhile.   Huh.  When I shared this with the kids, middle daughter cried, and a couple of them looked hurt.  You might think she's just tired, but really, the kids do so much for her around the house and ease her responsibilities, so that's not the reason.  I know this for sure.  Plus, she lives alone and really seems boosted up with the company.  Good luck with me getting the truth out of her.  My extended family ain't too swift in stating deep emotions.  I was raised to play the silent card, but fortunately married a man who won't tolerate that option. Pouting and sulking not allowed.  The frustrating part is that if/when I ask her if she's okay, especially in regards to this situation, she'll always play like everything's fine. We've become dab hands at stuffing down irritations and truth.  And I don't mean to sound harsh, but there really is more going on that meets the eye.  Just doesn't bear going into here.

And third son is moving out soon.  He's excited, and Gary and I are happy for him, but feeling twinges at our first child leaving the nest.  We've become content with all of our offspring living here.  Our story isn't a new one, but just new for us.  I told this son to keep his house key, not to knock when he comes back, and know that he can always move back in if situations warrant that.

I know of someone whose husband required all their kids to move out either at, or near, their 18th birthdays (not anyone who reads this blog, though).  I call that mean and unfair.  All children aren't prepared by then to be independent.  We might go to the extreme with allowing our children to stay, at least in some folks' minds, but the way I see it, it's like breastfeeding.  They'll move on eventually.  They just do.

Muttering to myself

Oldest daughter and I got out for a bit after lunchtime today.  We needed something for dinner and the big dogs' food was out---toilet paper was on sale and we'd run out of clothes soap as well.  Just basic things.

Anyway, as we were headed home, she said she'd enjoyed the cloudy, cold days we'd had this week.  The sun made an appearance today, but for the most part lately, it's been overcast, with more of the same for tomorrow.  I told her that lots of folks live in a mindset of hibernation in the winter.  They adjust their schedules and lifestyles to mimic the seasons.  She said she gets tired of activities and how summertime seems to be the busiest time of year for folks.  Always something to do.

It's a good idea...the following-of-the-seasons mindset, especially since I tend to mentally hibernate much of the time, but unfortunately I do it year round.  Well, in fits and starts.  I overdo and have to cut back.  Some folks I know require explanations for my reticence to participate in stuff, but those I live with get me.  So glad of that.  Gary used to pressure me a bit to do things, but as we've both gotten older, he's easier on me in that regard.  Guess maybe he either gave it up as a lost cause, or realized that there are some things I just can't do.  Either way, I'm grateful.

When I was a kid, my mom continually encouraged me to get involved, to make an effort, to be more out-going.  A hair-pulling situation to be sure.  I'd be in school plays or sing in the chorus, but as for group activities, not so much.  It'd generally have to be pretty low-key to attract my attention.

Anyway.  Enough rambling.  Just saying that as I get to know myself better, and it seems to be a never-ending process, I am learning my limits.  And to enjoy quieter and less demanding days now that we're in for a cold season sounds very, very appealing.

(photo courtesy of morguefile)

A snowy day

Yep, we got the snow and wind that was passing through the South yesterday and last night.  It's cold! But cozy and warm inside, with the kids alternating cooking frozen pizzas and corn dogs in the oven. Very snug.

Just taking today off from chores, not that there aren't any (ha-ha), but I figure a day off is a good thing. Too easy to get down to tasks, but since we seemed to be so busy with church, some time off is nice.  The kids have been passing around a mild virus, and youngest son is better today.  Middle daughter got worn out with extra acolyte times, so she slept in today as well.

Rest is good.

Now I want to go out front and see if I can get a decent photo of the same view of the house, but with the little candles in the window (battery-operated) and the colored twinkle lights.  The snow makes everything look special.  Might draft the least one for the job---she always takes such good shots, as this one shows.

Merry Christmas

The 23rd

This photo (which is from Pinterest) is so refreshing to look at.  Clean, almost bare in its design.  I'm reminded of a plan I hope to put into the works after Christmas and before we begin school again. Most probably will drift over into schooldays and that's okay.

I want to go room-by-room and really throw out and scrub.  In one of the Susan Howatch books I've been reading, one Abbot talks about being in charge of a group of monks who'd been allowed to get downright slovenly.  Their habits (pardon the pun) were a mess with little or no direction, they were eating and drinking to excess and hiding the evidence, plus their quarters were filthy.  The Abbot makes a comment about how a person can't be content in a mess, or something to that effect.  I totally agree.  But that's something to tackle after Christmas, and not now.  We're pleasantly cluttered and disorganized now.  And with no company coming for Christmas dinner, I can feel a lessening of responsibility.  We'll still tidy up and have a pretty dinner table, but I won't get all fussy.  Least that's the plan.  Company does tend to get me riled a bit.

Now am going to read and shut my eyes for awhile.  Finished Christmas shopping, have groceries in, Christmas Eve services tomorrow (with lots of incense!), and now it's time to enjoy the holiday.  'Bout time. :)

Simple pleasures

There's a pleasant mix of ages at church, and one older woman has always caught my eye.  I tend to sit on the right side of the church, and generally, she sits across the aisle with her daughter (who's about my age, or a bit younger).  Anyway, this woman is probably in her late eighties, is a bit tall, slender and carries a black and silver cane.  She always looks impeccable in lots of black.  The first time I saw her, I literally caught my breath, and yes, she wears hats.

She is stunning.

Finally I worked up my courage to speak to her, after telling her daughter weeks ago that I thought her mom looked incredible.

Anyway, at the children's pageant, they were sitting a couple of rows in front of us and I went up to speak to the mother.  I introduced myself and said that I loved seeing her come to church because she always looks so beautiful.  She answered by saying that her clothes were all so OLD.  She emphasized that, but it was all said with her blue eyes shining and with a smile on her face.  I told her that they weren't old, but so classy.

I think I have a crush on her. :)  But, oh, to look so gorgeous at that age.  To look that well at my age!  Oh my.

Thursday afternoon

Without a doubt, the children's Christmas pageant last night was the cutest thing I've seen in ages and ages.  We all had such fun and one little girl playing a sheep stole the show by saying "Baaa" in a quiet little voice here and again throughout the service.  She was hilarious. And, yes, the least one looked adorable as a wise man.  We made her a crown out of cereal box cardboard covered in some green floral shelf paper I had, and put glitter on it.  She was so sparkly.  And the kids all had rosy cheeks at the end, mostly from excitement and nerves, I'm guessing.

And beforehand, a real tree was set up and our boys helped put up the star and hang the lights.  Nice for our offspring, since we can't have a real tree at home with me being allergic.  I'll tell you--that's a pain to not have a real one.  Bronchitis which follows isn't a choice, though.  The church smelled wonderful with all the greenery...they'd bought wreaths as well.  We'll have a 'hanging of the greens' service on Sunday after a Said Eucharist and a Christmas breakfast.  Phew.  Lots to do.

Afterwards, as we were getting in Gary's Suburban, I made a remark about how beautiful the church looked from the street.  The lights were still on in the nave and the stained glass looked so pretty.  Was thinking about how it looked to anyone who passed, or to folks in the neighborhood.  Small, quaint, homey and very Mitford-like.  I know I've said it before, but asked Gary if we'd ever been part of a sweeter church and he agreed that we'd not.  He laughed that I'd finally after years and years found a place I really loved, and he's right.  The thing about him is that while he's not quite sure about all the liturgy, he's really enjoying meeting some folks.  That's good for him since he works alone at the shop all day and needs man-talk sometimes.

Must rest now.  Dealing with migraine-like nonsense, and have to grab some quiet. Remember to take some time for yourself when you can.  Hectic days ahead if we're not careful. :)

Mid-week

Well, the day spreads out in front of me. Got up early in anticipation of the termite man, who has since been and gone. Turns out he didn't spray, but did an inspection---oddly enough, both costing the same whether he used a chemical or not. Hmmm. Said the state won't allow them to spray every time. New regulations. They have to see bugs before they can spray. I say, whatever happened to preventative care? Not to the termite guy, though. He was frustrated as well that they can't do their job, but that someone's peeking over their shoulders. Regulations. More regulations. But love the pest control company we use---they're always so sweet and polite. Wish I'd had some Christmas cookies to give him.

Anyway, with the ability to pay some bills on the horizon, my mood has lightened.  The sun helps.  I must drum up some energy to clean, though.  The house is one major PU.

Will make angel biscuits to take to the soup supper tonight.  Thinking they already have enough soup to serve, least the list I saw on Sunday appeared so.  And the least one put back a tin of cookies she baked to take as well. Bought her a new bottle of sprinkles, and with one small batch of cookies made, the little bottle is almost empty.  Silly girl.

Must go.  Time to get it in gear.  Take care.

Chin up...

Okay, I sort of spewed on the blog last night, and you'll have to bear with me. Depression stinks.  STINKS. Thankfully, and I mean this sincerely, the gentleman who wants the folding bar came in with a deposit today.  That does help a bit.

I've noticed, and Gary's remarked on this too, that my mood (the dark side) often seems to line up with circumstances, and it's not always an inside job in that I can't always blame my brain, etc.  It can be either my pocketbook (which seems to get a hole in the lining more often than not), or news about someone we know, or the national news.  Doesn't matter what it is, I empathize way too much.  I hurt and it's hard to avoid that.  Turns out my best plan of action is to live in a little bubble and turn things off, or avoid them altogether.  Do you know how hard that is?  But for my own health, I really need to work on this.

So now I have a choice to enjoy the holiday weekend, or be down in the dumps.  The choice isn't easy, because changing the way I react is hard.  I have to tune things out, and toughen up a bit.  Focus.  Take deep breaths and enjoy the little things.

Now then, all I have to do tomorrow is let the termite man into the backyard (first thing), figure out what to take to church tomorrow for the soup supper before the play, and help the least one make a crown to wear since she's going to be a wise man and not an angel after all.  Darn, that pair of wings sure was cute, but they redistributed the parts on Sunday.  I admit, she looks a treat in the purple costume she'll wear.  Adorable.

The house still looks like people ran through it covered in dog hair, forgot to put things away, and went "weee, weee, weee," but that's fixable.  Just might take more time than I bargained for.  Depression and sloth.  Sadly they're bedfellows.

The facts...

• i'd be fine if we skipped Christmas this year
• not kidding, but not meaning to sound grinchy, either
• and it's not that i've done practically nothing
• it's more that my heart just isn't in it
• and hasn't been
• funny, but our kids aren't being annoying about the holidays
• guess they figure we'll get it in gear eventually
• we meaning *me*
• told gary the other day that i was a bit weary of being the one who's always depended on to do certain things around the house
• toilet paper, garbage bags, dog food and cream for coffee seem to be in my jurisdiction
• the others will buy milk and coffee
• and not to beat up on anyone, but our kids are good about buying groceries---it's just that they all seem to forget certain things
• i'd rather not be depended on so much
• mothering and being a wife are exhausting jobs
• the list never gets completed---which is a major frustration
• i get cranky, but generally feel that i need to keep it bottled up
• not doing too well with that
• it shows
• then gary tells me to eat something
• it's not always blood sugar issues, though, as he well knows, but cookies are always nice
• a bit nervous about singing with the choir on this Sunday and on Christmas Eve
• they're will only be about 7 or 8 of us, but that just makes you stick out more
• i'd rather be a background player
• when i shook our priest's hand on Sunday, he looked me in the eye (with a twinkle) and asked if i was planning on singing with the choir---i asked if he was making me---he said he was (again with a twinkle)
• man
• i've stuck my foot in it, for sure
• sorta excited about it, though, partly because they wear neat choir gear
• a black cassock underneath and the white garment over the top (don't know its name)
• hopefully it's slimming (haha)
• oh, i just need to go to bed and turn off my head
• you know how it is---get worn out and being fretting---off to read now

Early Monday afternoon

Had already decided that this would be an easy at-home sort of day.  If you knew what I had left (planned) to do before Christmas, you might scratch your head.  Here's the deal: I've bought one present, and that is an old 1893 book I bought for 25 cents at an antique store on Saturday, when I was out with the girls.  It's for one of the boys---the son who has latent pastoral ambitions.  After the holidays he'll be preaching one Sunday (and no, he doesn't want us to come!) at an inner city church that he's become involved in, and he loves books, so this one, Touching Incidents and Remarkable Answers to Prayer, jumped out at me. Just a sweet book.

I really want, more than ever, for this Christmas to be low-key.  None of this buying what HAS to be bought.  Everyone's needs are, basically, being met.  Yeah, there are always clothes needs, but they're not running around in their skivvies, so that's not a problem.  They look decent when we go to church, and that's my main concern.  Don't want to look like we're living out of the missionary barrel.

Anyway, while my mind briefly went by way of getting in a tizzy this morning, I put a hold on the frets and sat down with my tea tray.  Pugs asleep in my lap, cup in hand, The Book of Common Prayer in the other hand.  Today's reading was so soothing.  The first Psalm to read was #86, and it said just what I needed to hear.  I'll tell you, that Common Prayer book is pure comfort.  A wonderful day to begin my morning, and get my mind settled.

Now I'm running on a bit too much caffeine, but the demands on my day are small.  I simply want to get the house under control, wash the huge pile of laundry that's bulging out of the hall closet (where the dirty clothes basket is) and try to hang some greenery and lights around the outside doors.  The first wish is do-able, the other things might take some extra time.  Oh, and we need to finish up our schoolwork, since we're taking the next two weeks off.  We try to keep to the city school's schedule so we stay under the radar.

Today is good.  Thankfully Gary sold 3 things online Saturday night.  Bang, bang, bang.  Such a huge blessing.  We're still behind, but everything's okay.  The weather is mild---a couple of windows are open, the sun is shining and that's all I need.  Take care, all, and remember to take a breath.  And try to set aside a minute to read this post at A Bloomsbury Life.  Random kindnesses.  It'll make you cry, but in a good way.

'Finding God in the Hobbit' by Jim Ware

Jim Ware's book Finding God in The Hobbit begins beautifully with a forward by Kurt Bruner containing this comment:  "No child should grow up in a world without hobbits.  Trust me; I'm one who was raised in a home that did not contain a single copy of the book."

Ditto.

As a result, I'm always delighted by writers who go into detail with the story-behind-the-story in tales told by Tolkien and even C. S. Lewis.  Most folks tend to think of those men in the same breath anyhow. And they both had the hard-to-come-by writer's gift of telling a story well, but even more so, telling something even richer if the reader will just look closer.

Mr. Ware gives an introduction which is delightful in and of itself.  He looks into Tolkien's beliefs, and uses personal bits of the writer's life to draw in the reader, and it works.  And in the following chapters, Ware shares stories from The Hobbit using many quotes and follows up with Scripture and a verse to size up what he's shared.

My favorite chapter, 'On Eagles Wings', is about the eagles that "Time after time, in crisis after crisis....'save the day' by appearing over the horizon at precisely the right moment."  And here's more:  "This pattern points to a certain wonderful and startling conclusion.  It suggests that we might be justified in seeing these majestic birds as a beautiful and powerful image of divine grace, Free and sovereign grace."  The verse at the end of this chapter is so fitting as well.  It says, "God reserves the right to intervene in our lives as He chooses."

Ware says in the book's beginning that he was tempted to preach in this little book, and he does, and does it delightfully, if preaching can be considered delightful.  Now I wish he'd try his own hand at fiction.  I'd read it.

(i received this book free to review from tyndale publishers)

Remember, remember

Saturday evening

Clever woodworking husband has re-vamped his Journal & Tea site, taking things off of Etsy and putting them at the website instead.  I love what he's done---very crisp and clean.  His talent really does amaze me.  Well, not so much talking of the website (though it looks pretty sweet), but the carving and woodworking is mouth-watering, for sure.

And I just got in from taking all the girls out for the day. Tired.  The two younger ones wore their felt antler ears, which drew several comments from folks, making everyone laugh.  They all three had on jingly earrings and necklaces as well.  We're such magpies with our love for sparkly things. :)

Now just going to chill out.  Tomorrow will be busy with church, and will make red beans and rice in a minute, but for now, must rest.  Twenty minutes will have to do.

For today...

Thursday before dinner

Got a small stash of books at the library, including a trilogy by Susan Howatch (Glittering Images is the first one) with an Anglican setting.  I can't seem to get enough of it, can I?  Anglican this.  Anglican that.  Have read a couple of pages and am hooked...will probably prop up the book while I cook dinner.  Looking forward to some quiet later on, so I can relax and read.

And oldest daughter bought a new copy of Prancer (with dishy Sam Elliott) for us to watch tonight.  Our VCR copy of it is a bit ragged, and besides, our VCR is sorta on the blink.  That'll be fun.  Also, five of our offspring are meeting up with some friends and going to the opening of The Hobbit at midnight tonight.  It's almost three hours long! Gary just asked me about it, thinking I was going with them.  No ma'am.  I consider going to a 3 hour movie at those hours likened to abuse.  Ick.

Reciting The Jesus Prayer (Lord Jesus, Son of God, Have mercy on me, the sinner) to myself throughout the day.  Keeping my heart on track while we/I wait for God's blessing.  It doesn't substitute for other prayers, but is a good way to focus.  There are so many beautiful pieces that are rituals in our Sunday services, and to have them memorized is a comfort.  I'm learning that humility and a contrite heart are key for His working in my life.  That clinging-to-sin stuff has got to go.  Amazing what junk you find in your heart when you get to praying about it.  It's like weeding a garden.  There are always little annoying bits trying to crowd out the flowers.  And they spring up overnight, it seems.  At least that's my experience.

Must go now.  I simmered a dear little chicken and am about to make a chicken pie. Have a restful night.  And one more thing...I've added one of the bits from The Book of Common Prayer.

From the Anglican General Confession.  I think this is beautiful.

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father;

We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep.

We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.

We have offended against thy holy laws.

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done;

And we have done those things which we ought not to have done;

And there is no health in us.

But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders.

Spare thou them, O God, which confess their faults.

Restore thou them that are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.

A Christmas Carole

Okay, this is cool.  Oldest daughter has invited me to see A Christmas Carole, the play, this weekend.  Sweet Indian boyfriend will be there as well. SO excited...well, in a low-key sort of way.  I don't usually get all screamy, but am deeply-thrilled-in-a-quiet-and-tickled-sort-of-way to be treated this way.  I told her, "Now this IS my Christmas present and you'll NOT get me anything else, right?" Only to be met with silence.  Yay me.

(photo from pinterest of charles dickens-like gorgeousness)

Tuesday afternoon

Just checkin' in.

Feeling a bit of relief with some work that has come through the shop.  A big-name person here in town called Gary yesterday asking him to build a folding bar, like one he built a year and a half ago for this man's friend.  It's always interesting when folks who hold some sway call him.  Gary's one of the few people I know who's not affected by money or status.  He treats everyone the same, really, but for me it's amusing when the muckity-mucks come calling.  And a person in Denmark bought one of his wooden vapors this morning.  Doubly blessed.

We're two for two.  Would be delightful if more came through tomorrow as well. My purse has been a bit empty lately, and since we're behind on some bills, to feel a tiny bit flush would be a treat. We're aways from flush, but closer than we were last week.

And it's hard when the lean times come during December.  We always squeak through Christmas, and do fine, but it's tough.  I realize we're not alone in this, but most people don't talk about it, yet show a brave face and act like everything's fine.  Okay, so it's not fine, but I know God's in control.  I just need to surrender to that.  There's no shame in suffering, and I figure, we've all got something eating on us, right?

Take care and just do today.  That's the best advice I can offer.  :)

Sunday dinner-time

...not my pug, 'cause mine don't wear pearls

Just finished re-arranging the living room and dining room in preparation for putting up Christmas decorations. Funny how most everything had to be moved---the sofa, the bench that usually goes behind it, the dining room table and the lawyer's book cases as well.  All because I brought in the bistro table and chairs off the front porch, so that we can put our tree on top of it.  And it's a table-top tree, since with dogs in the house, a floor tree just won't work.  I think the bistro table will look a treat, and cute after the holidays as a place to sit and drink tea.  Least that's the idea that's spinning in my head.

Anyway.  Not sure how much we'll get done tonight.  I'm so happy with the results so far, and just need to unload the dining room table of all the stuff piled up on it now.  All the bits and pieces got put on it while we vacuumed and tidied up.

And it's been a restful day.  Got a call at 8am this morning from one of the men at church.  Someone---they're thinking it was a drunk driver---mowed down a transformer pole alongside the church and the whole neighborhood lost power.  A nice surprise, though I was looking forward to going.  They cancelled services since our cars would've been in the way of the utility guys, plus the church would've been pretty warm inside.  A nice surprise to be lazy on a Sunday morning.

Must go now.  White beans for dinner---need to go dress them up a bit.  And oldest daughter bought a cake and a box of ice cream for us to enjoy while we watch the last episode of 'The Amazing Race.'   A good ending to a quiet, rainy day.

Church stuff

So church was wonderful tonight.  What else is new?  I got there about 10 minutes before 6pm, when it was supposed to start and only Father Keith and his wife were there.  Then, lo and behold, 3 young, sweet high school girls walked in and there we were.  Six of us, and it was a delight.  I don't know but I enjoy the services more when they're really small.  The girls sat in the nave (called the sanctuary by other Protestants) and Father Keith, his wife and I sat in the chancel (altar/choir) area and did the readings, etc.  Lovely.

Oh, and as the three of us were talking afterward---Father Keith looked directly at me and asked if I sang.  I shuffled my feet, looked back at him and said that, yes, I did, but I said it in more like, "Yeeeeeessss, I sing," (while eye-rolling and shaking my head, and thinking that I couldn't believe he was asking that). He grinned and asked again..."No, really.  Do you sing?".  The second time he asked, I had to laugh.  Said I used to in school and that it'd been ages since I'd read music.  Well, now I'm snookered into singing with the choir for Christmas.  Man. He was clever.  Why he asked, I have no clue.  I think they just need bodies.  The choir on Sundays is only, tops, about 6 folks anyhow.  Interested parties, please apply.

So, the roll-call now is one daughter a junior acolyte, one daughter to be an angel in the Christmas pageant, and one mom singing in the choir.  I need me some boys to do stuff, yes?

Late Friday afternoon

Can't believe it's already Friday.  Seems the weeks just whiz by when December hits.  A slower passage of time would be acceptable, I'm thinking.

Planning on going to prayers at church tonight. And trying to have a quiet day. Succeeding with that, for the most part, but still have to dust and vacuum. With the rain and breezy weather, we have lots of leaves to dispose of that have sneaked in the doorways.

The younger kids and I began making books today---this with a tutorial I found on Pinterest that uses plain old paper sacks.  You simply cut the bottom out of the sacks, cut the pieces to size, wet them (and you can wad them up for nice wrinkles), then hang them to dry.  Afterward iron the pieces so you get a good crunchy sound (I'm partial to paper money that's gotten wet and has to be ironed---a delicious crunchy sound that makes!).  I looked up coptic stitch, which is how the pages are sewn together, but I punched holes and we sewed them together with yarn.  Easier and quicker, not that we were in any hurry.  The least one brushed gesso on her pages with the store logo on them, and she and I put paper on the outsides of ours for covers.  Will work more on them when the glue dries.  Just something out of the ordinary to do---a break from boring old schoolwork.  And honestly, after teaching these kids for about 20 years, anything to break the monotony is a good one in my book (please forgive the pun).

Must go now.  I've got about an hour to whip the house into shape, just wish I had the enthusiasm for it. :)  Blah, blah, blah.

Thursday afternoon

Well, Violet the pug appears to be better today. And she ate for the first time in a couple of days.  Hand-fed. Spoiled rotten.  I tried to get her to eat out of her bowl and she gave me 'the look.'  The same look Gary gives me when he's not quite sure I understand what's going on.  So, I indulged her, feeding her ground beef mixed with rice.  With pugs having such short snouts and such wide tongues, the food they eat sort of wings off of their tongues, and flies up in the air.  So Daisy was right in her face, ready to clean up what Violet shot into the room. Not a tidy situation.  But she ate, and that's the main thing.

And it's a cozy day.  I hung out clothes, feeling optimistic that the mist wouldn't last all day.  It's supposed to be a bit sunny now, or at least partly cloudy.  It's not drizzly now, but a damp day.  That's okay.  I don't mind using the dryer, but until we get the bonk sound fixed, it's a bit annoying.  The drum goes round, and I can hear the regular rattle of something that's not the way it's supposed to be.   Maybe I can give Gary 'the look' and he'll be inspired to look into it.

Must go now.  It's my first day without a houseful of children in, I don't know, how long.  Just puttering along, doing lots of nothing, but would enjoy having something accomplished before everyone gets back home.  Today's my mom's 84th birthday, so she wanted to have the kids today.  I baked her a cake last night, and they were going to celebrate.

Take care. :)

What it is...

In the past two days have spent a total of 8 hours at the dental school with fourth son.  My first response to someone oohing and aahing over that fact is to say, "Oh, it wasn't so bad, and it worked out really well." My honest response is to say that it exhausted me and slightly put me over the edge.  Our son got a bit zingy as well.  While the cost of going there is well under what it would cost at a regular dentist, you have to be prepared to stay awhile.  It is a balance.

And Violet the pug has a bladder issue which might entail a visit to the vet tomorrow.  This isn't Daisy the pug who had bladder stone surgery back in January, but her sister who never gets sick, but who had a bladder stone pass a few weeks ago.  Crap.  She's straining to 'go' and it might be another stone.  With the amounts of water and milk we've gotten into her, though, you'd figure she'd explode at some point and shoot any stone right out of her. You'd think.  You can see where my prayers are going.

Other things are pinching (but realize that blog readers would rather read mostly up-beat things, so in that case, move along little dogies if you're in that group) and I could probably pull out lots of hair before it'd show.  There's plenty to spare.

I told Gary tonight that I'd like for God to be a slot-machine sometimes, and I'm sure some of you feel the same way at times.  I'd love to put in a prayer and have the solution pop out at me.  That. Very. Minute.  Doesn't happen like that, unfortunately, and it's a faith thing.  I do like the slot-machine idea, though.  Anyway, as I told him that, he gave me a look.  He's good at that.  I say what maybe he thinks, but is too respectable to say. Me and God....thankfully He's very generous to my sometimes disrespectful thoughts and comments.  God's grace covers me every time, otherwise, I'd be lying flat on my back.

Sunday evening

Oh my, what a day.  Stress from middle daughter's first official acolyte adventure (she wasn't able to sleep last night---didn't nod off until 4:30am) and anticipating a visit this afternoon to our elderly neighbor at the care center. Arrrrggghhh!  All's well, though.  Daughter did great at church (and yes, that's her at the side---isn't she a doll?), and with all but one of her siblings showing up, was glad of the support.  They don't all go to the Anglican church, but were there for her, which is what it's all about, anyway.

And our neighbor looked better than his daughter implied. Fourth son and I were a bit antsy about what to expect, but it wasn't what we were anticipating.  He's obviously weaker than since he first went to the hospital but he's in his nineties, so not unexpected.  Strangely, the doctors believe he's got Sundowner's Syndrome, (in addition to everything else that's wrong with him) which is something I've never heard of.  It's a precursor of Alzheimer's and displays symptoms when evening sets in...hence the name.  The strongest symptom our neighbor has is being verbally abusive to his daughter.  He's fine during the day, and as it gets darker, so does his mood. Goodness, brain dysfunction is so fascinating.  And I'm not saying that in a critical way, but it really is amazing.

In the past I've had migraines so bad that, a couple of times, I talked all jumbled up. Gary said it was like I was talking backwards.  I wanted to say certain words and they just wouldn't come out right.  Like a TIA (mini-stroke).  For that reason alone, I think brain issues are completely fascinating.  I understand a bit of that.

Another bit of news.  The least one was asked if she'd be in the children's Christmas pageant.  She's going to be an angel.  I'm so excited, I could squeal.  Shades of the movie Prancer, with the main character (except for Sam Elliott, of course) playing an angel as well.

Going to go now.  I need to chill, big time.  Too much news, most of it good. :)

Our son, the author

Our fourth son has finally downloaded to Amazon the book he's been working on for over a year.  After much work, worries and diligence, here it is, Dark Flower. I'm so proud, and inspired as well.  He's followed through on what I've dreamed of doing.  Way to go, Josh.